Crooner Culture

Top 10 Crooners to Invite to the Holiday Office Party

by Lara on December 17th, 2007

As part of b5media’s music channel list project, our theme this time around is “Top 10 artists/bands to invite to the holiday office party” and of course, I’m going to list crooners! This has to be one of those “alive or dead” things for this category, but here we go:

10. Marilyn Monroe - Yes, she’s a female crooner, and oh man, you can’t help but imagine she’d be a blast at a holiday party, maybe even drinking a Royal Stretch. I have a feeling she’d likely be the one making photocopies of her butt on the xerox machine, but what guy in the office wouldn’t want a copy of that!?!

9. Elvis Presley - C’mon, Blue Christmas!? You know he’d be singing that in a corner with his guitar, drinking some mulled cider with a cinnamon stick in it, wearing a thick, creamy wool sweater and a deep red turtleneck. Picture it! I know you can!

8. Definitely Tony Bennett - I think he’d be the guy telling all the stories of Christmases past. With that great smile of his, you know he’d have a crowd around him. I think he’d be mostly a gin and tonic kind of guy, don’t you?

7. The Rat Pack - I lumped these guys into one, but we’re talking Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Peter Lawford, and Joey Bishop for sure. They’d likely be spilling their dirty martinis over who gets to put Marilyn up on the Xerox machine and who gets to push the “copy” button, but you know they were a bunch of fun drunk guys!

6. Yes, my Michael Bublé would have to be there. Yes, he and I would disappear into the boss’s closet and everyone would be wondering where we were. No booze needed here. Yes, I fantasize about this one a LOT. Shaddup! :P

5. Josh Groban just released the most amazing Christmas album. He’d have to partake in the karaoke for sure! He’d likely be the designated driver, too… drinking only virginal eggnog with a sprinkle of nutmeg on top.

4. John Legend would be looking all suave and cool in his brown/maroon leather jacket, jeans and blackout aviators. He might be in the corner with a Bailey’s on the rocks somewhere, hanging with only his closest friends. (Have you seen him in the new Bailey’s commercial? Whee… “Let’s go to the paaaark…“)

3. When I think of Ella Fitzgerald, I think of a character like Queen Latifah’s Motormouth Maybelle in Hairspray for some reason. I’d love to see her at the party with a blonde wig, a big shiny gold lamé top, and maybe some jingle bells bobby pinned in to the wig there. Ha! She’d be drinking something hot and peppermint-y I think.

2. Gotta get some Norah Jones in there. She’d be consoling all the single girls at the party, who are planning their New Year’s Eve “Girls’ Night” so that they didn’t feel all alone and sad. I think Norah might be the one to partake in the Smirnoff Ice or something. “Don’t Know Why,” but it seems like that’d be her kinda drink.

1. The number one crooner to invite to the holiday office party is… Bing Crosby! Are you kidding me!? You didn’t see that one coming a mile away? C’monnnn, you know you’d want a little “White Christmas” in there! Oh, and Bing’s totally a champagne kinda guy I think.

So there you have it - can you see it? I’d give anything to have a party like this one!

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POSTED IN: Culture of Living, b5media Music